Richard Rohr writes: “I’ve never known anyone who really
shared all of their story with me whom I could not love.”
It is so true – we make assumptions about people when we
meet them or observe them a setting. It is easy to dislike or distrust someone
who is not known. But, once you sit down with a person and hear their story, it
changes everything.
I had that experience last week. A former patient called,
wanting an appointment to review his health insurance coverage. He had been
paying his premium for a year, had used his health insurance appropriately, and
wanted to review it. A total success story! Except for the fact that when I
heard his name, I just shuddered.
We ran into a few roadblocks during the process of reviewing
his insurance coverage, so we had some time to talk. I had made some judgments
about him. What I learned in the time we spent together was a completely
different person than I had assumed.
His mother died when he was 8 years old. It had clearly
impacted his entire life – including the fact that he was not able to finish
school. He wasn’t “stupid,” he was uneducated.
He is married to a woman who lost five children in an
intentionally set fire decades ago. She is broken – emotionally, physically,
and mentally. His concern and love for her was evident.
Because of the time we spent together, my attitude toward
him changed dramatically.
I see this so often with the population we see here at the
clinic. It is so easy to make assumptions. I often hear someone say, “he’s just
a user.” But sometimes that “user” is taking care of an elderly mother with
dementia, or is the only parent to a young child, or is recovering from
substance abuse. We never know the battles people are fighting in their lives.
We really need to take the time to hear their stories.
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