Marilyn Williams-Bayer’s Eulogy

Marilyn Williams-Bayer’s Eulogy

May 30, 2013

Let us pray:

O Lord, you are the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort; look with compassion we pray upon all gathered here now. Grant that this service of comfort, which we now hold in your name, may bring to all a sense of heavenly nearness and great trust in you. And may the peace of Christ, the peace that passes all understanding, abide with us and rest upon us. We pray through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Jill Pavka. I am the Executive Director of St. Peter’s Free Clinic and was privileged to have Marilyn as a friend.

We write our own eulogies while we live – in the way that we live and in the lives we touch.

It is rare for someone come into our lives and to touch us so deeply.  But, Marilyn was one of those extraordinary people for many of us here today.

In my blog, I described Marilyn as a hero; the dictionary defines a hero as:

1.  A remarkably brave person: somebody who commits an act of remarkable bravery or who has shown an admirable quality such as great courage or strength of character

2. somebody admired: somebody who is admired for outstanding qualities or achievements

In so many ways, Marilyn was a hero.

She came unexpectedly into our lives here at St. Peter’s Free Clinic when Dr. Collins “ordered” her to volunteer at the clinic. I am not sure what his motivation was – whether he thought Marilyn needed us, or we needed Marilyn, but both were true. We needed each other.

She started volunteering as a nurse. And what a gifted nurse she was. Her passion, her compassion – the patients loved her. I guess I didn’t realize fully all of her talents, but over time her role as a counselor became one of the more important ones at the clinic. She was able to offer our patients something that we had never had to offer before – a depression support group. Well, we called it a group, but more often than not it was one-on-one counseling for a troubled soul. Marilyn would listen, and life would get better. She gave undivided attention to people who needed it most.

She was one of the nurses to work with our Diabetic clinic as well. This small group of select and special patients meant the world to her; and she to them. They counted on her counsel, her wisdom, and her smile.

Over time I learned some of Marilyn’s journey – her long battle with metastatic breast cancer. I remember when she told me that at the 5 year mark when most people celebrate, she didn’t.
She did not trust that the disease was gone – and she was right. Soon after that she was diagnosed with metastatic disease – and her long battle began. I think she was on chemotherapy of one sort or another most of the time that I knew her. She never dwelled on herself; her interest was in those around her.

When I think of Marilyn it is how she would come into the clinic on Tuesday nights – all four foot something of her, with the brightest blue eyes and a smile that would light up the world. And, her necklaces – she always wore a necklace. She had hugs for all of us, and always asked about our lives – she remembered everything.

Marilyn was a daughter, a sister, a mother, a wife, a nurse, a counselor, a friend. We each remember her with our own snapshot of her – with the joys, the struggles, the disappointments and the wonderful memories. She was someone different for each of us; that is just how life works. The person we know may or may not be someone else’s experience of that person; but each part of the person is true in their relationship with one another.

The Book of Common Prayer reminds us that this is an Easter liturgy.  In the midst of our sadness and sense of loss, the liturgy powerfully proclaims Christ’s victory over death.  From beginning to end, with the lessons, the music, the anthems, and the prayers, we hear the Church’s faith proclaimed that life does not end at the grave but goes on in a far more magnificent manner than we can possibly imagine or comprehend. 

 

Marilyn knew what it meant to be a representation of Christ to the world around her. Marilyn’s faith was an important part of her life; I remember her reflecting on whether she had made a difference in the world. Her background, growing up in the Salvation Army, was very much part of who she was.

She touched so many lives; she has been a witness to Christ in the world through her actions and her love.

 

 In the gospels we have the words of Jesus that we all yearn to hear for ourselves and those we love, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  Marilyn: well done, good and faithful servant.  Well done, indeed.  She was a role model for us all.

 

The people we meet on our journey through life become a part of us. The two things that influence our lives more than anything else are the books we read and the people we meet.

In times of grief, the presence of family and friends mean so much. They bring support and sympathy – and that can be a wonderful source of strength.

Because we all belong to the great fellowship of Jesus Christ, we are able to encourage and strengthen one another. Each of you here has a story. I hope that during the time downstairs – you will share these stories with Marilyn’s family.

Grief is a journey, and today is just the beginning of that journey.

This gentle and wise quote from the Northumbria Community speaks so to my heart, and I hope it will to yours as well: “Do not hurry as you walk with grief; it does not help the journey. Walk slowly, pausing often: do not hurry as you walk with grief. Be not disturbed by memories that come unbidden. Swiftly forgive; and let Christ speak for you unspoken words. Unfinished conversation will be resolved in him. Be not disturbed. Be gentle with the one who walks with grief. If it is you, be gentle with yourself. Swiftly forgive; walk slowly, pausing often. Take time; be gentle as you walk with grief.”

For all of us – staff, volunteers, and patients there will be a huge hole in our life here at St. Peter’s Free Clinic, and we share in your grief.